huddle up, buttercup

Growing up, I was always a tomboy, but the one thing that I never felt included in was football. No one ever explained the rules of the game to me, I couldn’t play because there wasn’t a women’s team. All I really knew was when a touchdown happened, and that is mostly because of the yelling and high-fives. After getting married to a sports fanatic, the feeling of being on the outside only got stronger. I wanted to join in on the conversations about last night’s game, an injured player, or a bad call everyone is still arguing about the next day.

What did Cowboys fans mean when they said “Dez caught the ball”? Well, I decided to start teaching myself and asking questions. Eventually, I felt comfortable enough to join in on conversations about football and even sometimes bring it up myself. I also know now Dez didn’t catch that ball.

There is this amazing moment that happens when you can bring up football in a conversation, and you actually know what you’re talking about. Guys are impressed, sometimes even shocked, and they get this look like, wow, she actually knows her stuff. Then you feel like you finally belong.

I have seen the skepticism too, where someone starts asking “testing” questions because they don’t believe you know football. Most of the time, I can answer and prove them wrong, which I do enjoy being right. That is when I feel confident, like I belong with the guys and can carry the conversation. I can call myself a real football fan.

Then the worst thing ever happens, I say something wrong. Just last night while watching the Bills and Lions game, I brought up how I think Dalton Kincaid is going to be the #1 tight end in the league this season because a lot of the established tight ends are getting older. I started listing off some of the older tight ends- Travis Kelce, Dallas Goedert, George Kittle, and Lad McConkey.

Huge mistake. Lad McConkey is a wide receiver, not a tight end, and he’s only been in the league for a few years. I meant Tyler Conklin. Just that one mistake, I went from someone who knew her stuff to looking like a complete idiot. I could see it all over their faces, this girl doesn’t actually know what she is talking about. I went from feeling confident to feeling like a fake football fan with one simple mix-up of names.

I felt so embarrassed because in that moment I couldn’t even remember who I meant to say. I immediately started thinking, maybe I don’t know enough about football, and I let one mistake take away all of my confidence. The thing is, if a man had made that same mistake, it would probably be laughed off as a dumb or stupid mix-up moment. As a woman though, it can feel like you don’t belong at all.

I am allowed to feel like a real fan and be part of the conversation, even if I make a mistake It does not make me less of a fan, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll be the one correcting someone else on a football knowledge. So, keep feeling confident, keep learning, and most importantly, stay in the conversation. One mistake does not mean you aren’t a real football fan. Let’s stop saying we think we might be real football fans and have the confidence to say we are.

Audience Statement-

My intended audience is for women who love football, are still learning, or have ever felt left out of a conversation because they didn’t feel confident in their football knowledge. I used one of my own recent embarrassing mistakes and how I felt in the moment to show how quickly your confidence can disappear. This relates to my audience because women are judged more harshly in sports, even though many women genuinely love football just like me.